I have spent quite a lot of time learning and sorting myself out so that I can become the best version of my true self.
Looking back at all the journal writing I have done, books I have read and youtube video lectures , I have overloaded myself with so much information. I realized it was time to stop and be still and allow myself to commit and implement what I have learned and what i have discovered about my true self.
I questioned myself and asked what good does ALL this knowledge do me if I can't answer these three basic existential questions about me?
*Who am I?
*Where am I going?
*Who am I going with?
I knew these questions couldn't be answered with people in my life in mind. This was a one person journey, an only me process to answering these questions allowed. Others cannot be involved and can not go where I go or have an opinion because I live this life that is mine and only mine.People can not influence my thoughts or choices but myself. I am the only one living my present moment. All opinions are suggestions that are possible choices but I have the last say.
During the process of answering these questions I came to understand other factors within life events that are my nemesis to my personal happiness and finding lasting love; and not the kind of love with family or friends, but with the one person you are willing to commit with, accept unconditionally, have freedom and want to grow old with.
The Three nemesis I discovered and experienced were:
I know that my happiness is up to me and it can only grow from within me and is projected outward. It can never come from the external or material items because that is temporary and uncertain. I learned that it is my personal responsibility and obligation, not my right, to be busy creating my own happiness. I am responsible for loving myself unconditionally and with fierce compassion as well. I must fill myself with so much self-love and gratitude until I am so full of myself that I can freely give and receive love without condition. This isn't easy at all but it is all on me.
In the process of self-discovery, I also gained a better understanding of my inner child. The child that is within all of us and the possibilities of my inner child still sabotaging my life outcomes because of the fear or trauma it may still be holding on to. As I learned and safely looked back, I knew it was time to continue growing and being a better version of my adult self and wipe those childhood fears and beliefs that are no longer, or actually never were, true other than to teach fear. This older version of myself gets to define and decide who I am, what I do, how I express myself and who I am with. This is the lesson of my existence.
I am the leading lady and the inner child within me is all grown up now and she can come out and play and feel awe for life and excitement and be playful, but has no need to fear that which no longer exists in my adult self.
I am in charge of my adult life and can face my truth without fear and am self-dependent and there is no need to lie to myself or be lied to to save my feelings. I am capable of accepting and confronting the truth, and accepting it as it is, and fully capable of greeting my reality. As the adult protagonist of my life, my inner child has no need to ever have child like fears, shame or blame.
I accept the personal obligation to make me happy always and to accept love and give love freely without needing anyone to unwillingly stay who does not want to stay.
The welcome mat is always out so that those who want to walk this journey with me can do so freely without condition. I get it now!
Time to be a power house and reach my ultimate dreams knowing that it is mine to dream.
So be a witness to your life.💫 Check yourself out. Check your habits. Check your self-talk. Check your attitude. Check your happiness level. 💫 If this isn't working out for you then let's be witness to change!
BUCAY OFICIAL (2018) YouTube. No Limites Tu Felicidad online
Reviewed January 7, 2020.
Sadghuru, (2019) YouTube online.Organize your mind. Online;
Reviewed January 8, 2020.